Dear {6 yr old} Rowan

Dear (6 year old) Rowan,

Wow, SIX YEARS! And soon to be SEVEN! I just cannot believe that time has gone by, (nor that our feet are suddenly almost the same size!)

It's amazing to watch you grow into a sweet, caring young man. It's also hard to watch you go through struggles to find your true self, but you're on your way.

This year I've seen you finally break through that angry wall you put up to shield yourself. I've seen you accept yourself and your big heart and THAT is what I've been waiting for. Now, you're getting to know you. You're embracing yourself and you're running with it. I'm learning to run with it too.

You LOVE to read. One day, you read to yourself for THREE HOURS straight!! Among plenty of other books, some of your favorites are Mom & Dad's Calvin and Hobbes collection. They crack you up (it's hilarious. I love your laugh.) You've read 1-7 of the Amulet series....waiting for #8. As a family, Daddy is reading Harry Potter books to you and I'm reading Charlotte's Web. You totally pretend like you don't like Charlotte's Web, but you beg for me to read to you, knowing that I will it's the book I'm going to read and then hang on what will happen next. I love you.

You've told me this year, that you're more like a teenager. You've said it many times, but it wasn't said with any attitude. Just a matter of fact statement. To be honest, you're right....as usual. You ARE more like a teenager than a 6 year old. I guess I worry that you've missed out on your childhood because your brain is older than you are. And I worry because teenage angst is too big of a burden for a young child to bear. And I worry because if your formative years were "teenage", then what will your actual teenage years bring?! Well, basically, I worry because that's just what moms do. You are SO special to us. I just hope you feel that.

You still play Pokémon on a majority of our Sundays. This year, you also learned Magic the Gathering. I wasn't ready for that. Uncle Jim came to visit and handed down his entire collection of Magic cards, along with an encyclopedia of Magic the Gathering (which you are glued to, btw), and he taught you how to play. No surprise, you are very good at it. It's honestly too hard for the rest of us to figure out. Ok, Daddy has figured it out, but seriously, you're just as good as he is. Settlers of Catan is another winner, and also Pokémon Monopoly. You love being the banker, of course :)

The Ultimate Beastmaster is one of your favorite shows. I'm so happy that it's inspired you to be more adventurous and daring, and to get outside more.

You and Cid joined Taekwondo and made it all the way to orange belts! SO proud, because you faced your biggest challenge there. You stood before a room of people and spilled your heart. You were so brave.

You've been exploring the trails on our property and even started offering tours to the kids who have birthdays here. It's awesome. We've found mushrooms, lady bugs, miner's lettuce, chickweed, pine needles, and endless secret hideouts.

You made some incredible friendships this year. You've helped others learn the things that came so easy to you. You've stood up for what was right and remained honest. You had so many incredible ideas, it's hard for us to keep up! You've worked hard and tried tons of new things.

I know you get frustrated and I really do understand why. You are so mature and responsible and you try so hard to do the right thing all the time. It sucks to watch other people get away with things that you don't feel are right. That will always suck. The world is not fair and for those of us who want it to be, that can be an overwhelming reality. You'll get better at dealing with that as you realize how much happiness you can create inside yourself and the people around you.

Year after year, I point out what a great big brother you are. This year is no different. You are the most incredible big brother. You care so much about Cid and Vada. You are kind, gentle, and patient with them. Seeing you guide Cid through the first few weeks of his new Kindergarten melted my heart. As the oldest, you've always taken on responsibility and worry beyond your years. We know that. We love that, and we also do our best to make sure you know that you are still a kid - you don't need to carry the world on your shoulders.